Tuesday, May 14, 2013

To Whom Shall We Go?

In 2012, I conducted or assisted in one funeral every eighteen days as a minister of the gospel.  a few years ago after my daddy's passing, I delivered a lesson titled "To Whom Shall We go."  It had three points and shortly thereafter, I decided to put it in tract form thus producing three separate tracts.

In talking with my sister, she said, "Bubba, you should make them available."  Smart sister...never thought to blog them; I guess because of their length.  But, someone might be hurting because of a loss of a loved one.  Please know I am sorry and know there are many that have walked your path.
 
So, I hope the following will be salve for the soul...from the Wildwood.
 
“TO WHOM SHALL WE GO”: WHEN DEATH ARRIVES

            In John 6:63-68, we find Jesus and His disciples, some privately complaining (murmuring), some that did not believe and yet, some that did.  When Jesus asked would others go away after some had departed we see the answer of Simon Peter in verse 68, “Lord, to whom shall we go?  thou hast the words of eternal life.”  Yes, through Christ and His word we are reminded there is life in Christ and His word—the great declaration from Peter.  Today we ask Peter’s question, “Lord, to whom shall we go.” but, specifically, to Whom shall we go in times of trouble?  And yes, in this life we will have troubles.  “Man that is born of a woman is of few days and full of trouble” (Job 14:1) and Jesus knew we would have troubled hearts (John 14:1, 2), but He quickly assured us HHe would be there.

            In our “To Whom shall we go” series, let’s ask “To Whom shall we go when death arrives?”

 WHEN YOUR SPIRIT IS BROKEN

“A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken” (Proverbs 15:13).  I know of no greater sorrow to the heart than to lose a loved one whether suddenly or lengthy suffering—either way, such sorrow breaks the spirit and the heart as well.  The scripture teaches us this is a path we will all go down (unless the Lord returns and time ends): “It is appointed unto man once to die, then the judgment” (Hebrews 9:27), but what about those of us that are left here? 

We note through the scriptures Job’s suffering, David’s children (three died and one defiled) and even Christ in the loss of John the Baptist (Matthew 14:1-12), so we are not alone.  At times of death, our spirits are broken and our lives are changed permanently.  However, we can go on…and we must.

I can recall the night after my daddy was buried.  I was staying at my mother’s house and I awakened during the night with an unbelievable pain just above my stomach, but it was not a “physical” type pain.  I arose and for a moment I literally had to stop and think about what to do and where to go.  I went outside, looked up at the night sky and asked “Lord, is this how grief feels” and I became physically sick, albeit for a moment.  It eased and I returned to bed.  A few days later while in my office, again I had to stop and think about how to do things going step by step in my mind—things I had done for years!

Know that feeling or anything close to it?  I made it through and others have made it through—so can you.

BE CAREFUL WITH THESE TWO THINGS

I know two areas we must be careful with and avoid at all possible when death arrives:[1]

1.    Some blame God (Job 2:9).  We see Job’s wife telling Job “…curse God and die.”  It is easy for us to blame God when our loves ones are taken.  However, we must realize that death entered into the world because of the sin of man (Genesis 3).  “Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned” (Romans 5:12).  We lay the blame at the feet of the creator of sin, Satan himself who deceived Eve who in turn deceived Adam.  It was man’s choice to turn away from God for that moment and to listen to Satan.

2.   Others will stop living.  In the parable of the sower in Matthew 13:21, think of those obedient and endured for a while but in the time of tribulation of persecution, they fell away.  How many people turn from God, cease attending worship and draw away from fellow Christians?  This actually delays healing and one forgoes strength that could be granted to get us through.

Overcoming and dealing with these two areas early in your grief will go a long way to make each day bearable and allow your healing to be just a little more each day.  Do we ever “get over it?”  If we get over the sadness we will get over the happiness the loved one gave us.  I personally hope I never get over the loss of my Daddy, but I must grow from it, live with it and move onward.

LET US LEARN FROM DAVID

            I believe we would do well to apply what David did after the loss of his child (2 Samuel 12:20-24).  During the illness of the child, David pleaded, prayed, fasted and mourned.  However, after the child passed, David did move onward.  Solomon states how “…the mourners go about the streets” (Ecclesiastes 12:5) and we must go onward.  David’s example shows us how:

1.    Clean and refresh ourselves (20).  We have given all that we can to the one that has passed on with care and concern.  We have gone as far as we could and we must look back knowing we did our best.  Make certain we look our best and visit others—be around people! 

2.    Worship in the house of the Lord (20).  It is sad of those that choose not to do this because of a memory of the loved one that has passed on or a song may remind us of the funeral service.  However, you can make it and it becomes easier.  I attended worship the following Sunday and a couple of songs were difficult for me to make it through, but I renewed my reason for being there—to worship my God (John 4:24) who would comfort and strengthen me (2 Corinthians 1:3).  And, oh the hugs and encouragement I received.  I recalled the words of Peter from the marvelous mount, “Lord, it is good for us to be here…” (Matthew 17:4).

3.    Maintain good health (20, 21).  We note that David did eat what was set before him.  Again, we have given all we could give to the loved one that has passed now it is time to tend to ourselves for our health and well being, especially if you were the primary caregiver.

4.    Accept the loved one has passed away and will not come back (23).  This will take time—shorter for some, longer for others.  Dealing with grief varies with each individual.[2]  However, this level of acceptance is noted by grief counselors and those that have lived through a loss as the key to moving onward with ones life.

5.    Look toward eternity.  David said of his child, “…I shall go to him…” (23), a view of eternity.  So many resolve to do this and so many lose interest after a week or two.  Find a nearby church of Christ who will help you look toward eternity.

6.    Turn and comfort others (24).  We cannot forget that Bathsheba lost a child, too.  David turned and comforted her.  We are able to comfort others with comfort we receive (2 Corinthians 1:3) and as we focus on others we take more attention from ourselves (Matthew 16:24).

To Whom shall we go when death arrives?  The Lord has the answers for as death entered the world through sin, Jesus bore that sin for us (Isaiah 53; 1 Peter 2:24).  Has physical death caused you to think of your spiritual life?  Hear the gospel of Christ (Romans 10:17; Matthew 15:10); believe what you hear for it is of necessity (Hebrews 11:6; John 3:16); respond to the command of repentance (Luke 13:3, 5; Acts 2:38); confess Christ as the Son of God (Matthew 10:32, 33; Acts 8:37) and be baptized to be saved (Mark 16:16; 1 Peter 3:21) for your sins to be remitted (Acts 2:38) as they are washed away (Acts 22:16).   Baptism will put you in Christ as you put on Christ (Galatians 3:27; Romans 6:3-6).  You will be added to the church (Acts 2:47) as you walk faithful for our Lord (Revelation 2:10).

Contact the nearest church of Christ or contact me below if either of us can be of help. 




[1] Mikeal Hughes sermon, Adversity, point III, Poolishing the Pulpit, 2006.  The points were granted by Mikeal with the comments mine, JRA.
[2] I share a book with so many titled Grief Resolvement by Judy Van Dyke.  If you would like a free copy, please contact me at jeff_archey@yahoo.com.  Funeral homes also offer a variety of material coupled with grief support groups.
 

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